After two consecutive painful losses, it's already beyond our wildest thoughts that God will allow us to have an additional child we desired for years. And the best part is we're given a son. But even if God granted us our hearts' desire, it was not a rosy journey. I was almost placed on bed rest on the 4th month, then became maid-less while homeschooling two kids grades 1 and 5, overseeing two small ventures and leading a discipleship group at church.
The situation I'm in is unbearable and there came a point I was tempted to give up. Give up being a motivator and teacher to our kids, give up being happy doing the same routines in the house everyday, give up discipling my group at church, give up being discipled by my dgroup, give up all the work that makes me very tired at each end of the day. Indeed the enemy which is the devil loves to steal our joy and makes our outlook in life miserable.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. - John 10:10
It was through those difficult moments when I can no longer endure everything that I raised my white flag, gave up in a different fashion by completely surrendering all my woes to God. Then I found unimaginable peace and strength by trusting and allowing Him to have total control over my situation. It's also where His promises in the bible became real.
That His grace is sufficient,
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV
His steadfast love, mercy and grace is always new every morning,
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
He will never leave or forsake us,
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”” Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV
He is faithful,
“If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.” 2 Timothy 2:13 NASB
He loves us so much..
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39 ESV
So much of God's words and His character revealed to us.
This pregnancy was unveiled to me last year through a series of dreams. Before I missed my period I dreamt of being pregnant holding my full blown belly, The second dream was before we know the gender, I was not pregnant anymore and was happily holding a healthy baby boy in my arms. There is yet another dream I couldn't reveal until it's been realized. I don't usually believe in dreams coincidentally becoming real when I became a Christian coz it's one tactics of enemy's deception but in fervent prayers and daily devotionals, I was assured it was not.
In a few days time or before this month ends, we'll welcome another bundle of joy into our family. A testimony of God's faithfulness. A great reason to celebrate Father's day for my husband as he continues to intentionally disciple our children and also a meaningful way to welcome my mid-life with great joy and anticipation of a new baby boy. And the ultimate suspense is on how God would take care each one of us after I give birth without any househelp, kids' homeschooling while I'm on maternity, husband's adjustment with pressing priorities. Our only desire is may God be glorified in everything we do.
